Tonight is the penultimate awards show in Hollywood's basically meaningless awards season, the Academy Awards. In honor of this momentous opportunity to skewer a ton of celebrities at once, I will attempt to make snarky comments on tonight's proceedings as they happen (kind of like what Best Week Ever is doing, except nobody is going to read this so i can be offensive as I want). Will it be tough? Definitely? Will it be funny? Probably not, but I'll try. Will I get bored about 40 minutes in and just end up saying fuck it? Most likely. But before it all goes down tonight and hopes and dreams are crushed by a single envelope, some predictions:
-jokes made involving some form of milkshake: 5.
-jokes made by Mr. Stewart that no one in the audience laughs at because they are robots and can't laugh at themselves: all of them.
-glasses of wine drank by yours truly: I'm going for bottles here.
-odds of a drunk Bill Murray storming the stage at some point claiming he was robbed a few years back: 2 to 1.
-odds that this will fail miserably: about even.
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