As I can't end this on a Heath Ledger joke, and this show has gone downhill fast, all that's left is to make fun of John Travolta's hair.
I mean, come on people, this speaks for itself.
11:06
In memory of Heath Ledger? Too soon! Hollywood, have you no class?
/window seat please, first class.
11:00
Dear Hollywood, please don't let idiots give out major awards. Love ya lots, kthxbi
10:37
Why don't they ever cut off the old people? Jesus fuck this honorary guy is boring. This ceremony seriously needs some Tom Cruise craziness. Or a streaker. A Norbit upset. Something to not make me gauge out my eyes with nail clippers.
10:04
Oscar is fucking Matt Damon (it's fucking Matt Damon!), OK, too obvious, but I've had a few drinks and Bourne sweeps for sound. Riveting, I know. Know that'll put you over the top in your Oscar pools. And kudos for the Jonah Hill/Seth Rogen tag team for breaking up the suckfest that has been the presenters so far.
9:47
Jack Nicholson must be high. Or just a badass for wearing sunglasses inside. And just in case both of you reading this thought I was slipping, I had two great comments ready for supporting actress, but since neither of them won, you don't get to hear them. Neener-neener.
9:19
Wow, they are really hurting for presenters this year. The Rock? The chick from American Idol? Can't wait until Pauly Shore gets up on stage. Shave the poochie! Shave the poochie!
9:09
The Golden compass is an Oscar winner! take that Jesus! yeah....I'm trying to care, but I really don't. Though I was ready to start bitching about how, if Transformers won, how that gets an Oscar and so many deserving movies get overlooked. There is some justice in the world I guess.
8:55
So Ratatouille won for best animated flick, which is no real surprise. It IS the year of the rat after all. Just another way in which the Chinese are taking over our country. Why is Hollywood outsourcing it's awards? Aren't our jobs enough?
8:44
OMGZ! Oscar shocker! A period piece won for best costume design! Stop the fucking presses! Seriously though, why do they open up the show with an award that a total of 3 people care about? I can't wait until they hand out the award for best key grip.
8:41
Stewart started off strong but started to lose it towards the end there. But we did go a whole 10 minutes without a milkshake reference, which is a win no matter which way you look at it.
8:13
So I thought the ceremony started at 8. Silly me. And I refuse to sit around and listen to Regis Philbin scream at people for 20 more minutes. So time to fix me a drink and prepare the snark. Though "What's wrong with you people!" might quickly become the line of the night.
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