Comeback? Clinton, plz.

So let me get this straight. The Democratic candidate, who was all but handed the nomination by the media all of a few months ago, after losing one primary became the underdog? And then, after winning last night in New Hampshire, Hilary Clinton has made a comeback? From what, her stubbing her toe in Iowa? I'm sorry, but everyone trying to spin this as her making a comback drank as much (if not more) kool-aid than the people who thinks she actually advocates change. After 3 + decades in public service you become part of the status quo. Need proof? Just look who was standing behind her i her Iowa concession speech, looked a lot like her husband's old drinking pals.

All this said, it's way too early to crown a winner on either side. Clinton and Obama and going to fight it out through "I'm sick of this shit already Tuesday" and the Republican race is pretty wide open with about 3 or 4 viable candidates at this point. But while it's too early to predict the eventual winners, it isn't too early to say who deosn't have a shot in hell and to spout off about how nuts they all really are. So without further ado, I give you the 2008 presidential hopefuls.

Edwards - This was my guy, but he's got no chance of winning any primary. Even though he's still pulling decent numbers for a third place candidate, I don't see him lasting until February 5th. Well I actually think he should pull out before then because I have a feeling most of his backers will gravitate towards Obama instead of Clinton. But I also still beleive in Santa, so what does that tell you?

Clinton - Presidents don't cry in public, even if it's a fake photo op cry. Besides, she's in the "The media is to blame for your shitty parenting" camp so I'd vote for a cardboard box over her.

Obama - No sense in hiding it, he's my boy now. People say he has no experience. I say it's not like he reads at a fourth grade level here. They say he's all talk and no concrete positions. I say, have you never heard a politician speak before (or tried to pick someone up at a bar)? They also say he's black, but I tihnk that's just a nasty rumor.

Huckabee - The guy's a total nutjob. Agreed, he talks reals nice, but he also thinks baby Jeebus was born underneath the shine of the moon and T-Rex shadow.

McCain - I woudn't get the "Oh shit, we're headed back to the dark ages" feeling if he gets the nom (like I would with Huckabee), but this guy lost it somewhere between still suporting Bush on the war and that stupid "Mac is Back" slogan. Now I'm hungry for McDonald's, thanks a lot.

Guiliani - Yes, he cleaned up the sretts of my fair city, but in doing so he also got rid of all the skeevy porn shops outside of Times Square. And he made it impossible for anyone making under 60k a year (like firemen and police officers) to llive here somewhat comfortably. Oops.

Romney - He looks and sounds like a used car salesman. 'Nuff said.

Paul - He actually makes sense economically, but he doesn't actually fit into the Republican party. While I see this as a good thing, they somehow don't like that. Who would've thought?

Thompson - He's old and has a trophy wife. Living proof that if you have a TV career you can score any ass you want, no matter how you look. In other words, he's the American dream.